Ian Curtis

What a beautiful and tortured soul. A couple of months ago I bought a documentary about Joy Division:




I have already watched it about ten times, and will probably watch it about ten+ more times because of the depth knowing the meaning behind the music has given me. I have been listening to Joy Division since I was about 15 years old. I knew that the lead singer killed himself and that New Order were the band members who carried on. I had no idea of all the details of his life, how he had epilepsy, a wife, a child and a girlfriend. It was rotten that he had an affair, but I cannot help but forgive him for it after knowing the details of his life, and knowing how much it made him suffer.

My favorite album was always Closer, and my favorite tracks from Closer have always been "Heart & Soul" and "The Eternal".

"Heart and Soul" sums up how how having a love affair with Annik tortured his soul to the core, while "The Eternal" illustrates the amount of empathy Ian had for people who suffered with physical and mental problems. Now that I have seen the story behind these masterpieces, I appreciate them even more:

Heart and Soul

A journey that leads to the sun,
Soulless and bent on destruction,
A struggle between right and wrong.
You take my place in the showdown,
I'll observe witha pitiful eye,
I'll humbly ask for forgiveness,
A request well beyond you and I.

Heart and soul, one will burn.
Heart and soul, one will burn.

An abyss that laughs at creation,
A circus complete with all fools,
Foundations that lasted the ages,
Then ripped apart at their roots.
Beyond all this good is the terror,
The grip of a mercenary hand,
When savagery turns all good reason,
There's no turning back, no last stand.

Heart and soul, one will burn.
Heart and soul, one will burn.

Existence well what does it matter?
I exist on the best terms I can.
The past is now part of my future,
The present is well out of hand.
The present is well out of hand.

Heart and soul, one will burn.
Heart and soul, one will burn.
One will burn, one will burn.
Heart and soul, one will burn.

The Eternal

Procession moves on, the shouting is over,
Praise to the glory of loved ones now gone.
Talking aloud as they sit round their tables,
Scattering flowers washed down by the rain.
Stood by the gate at the foot of the garden,
Watching them pass like clouds in the sky,
Try to cry out in the heat of the moment,
Possessed by a fury that burns from inside.

Cry like a child, though these years make me older,
With children my time is so wastefully spent,
A burden to keep, though their inner communion,
Accept like a curse an unlucky deal.
Played by the gate at the foot of the garden,
My view stretches out from the fence to the wall,
No words could explain, no actions determine,
Just watching the trees and the leaves as they fall.