My Uncle Bob

Last Monday morning my mom called me at 4:30 and told me that my Uncle Bob had died at 3AM. He had been bedridden for weeks with a pressure sore. We thought that he was on the road to recovery and was going to come visit us in a couple of weeks in Virginia (he lived in New York City). She was very upset and I went into shock. I could not go back to sleep, I just got up and sat in shock until it was time to get ready to go to work. Getting through the day was tough. My mom and Smitty drove up to NYC to go to the Medical Examiner's office to claim his body (she had to look at a photograph). Then, she went to his apartment because she was planning on staying there while organizing his memorial service, but the police had sealed the door and nobody was allowed in. Apparently NYC has some law where the next of kin must bring a copy of a paid funeral bill, a tax waiver, and a property voucher to surrogate court before they are allowed access to the deceased person's residence. So, she had to drive all the way back down to Virginia that same day. My mom has an awful habit of not turning her cell phone on so I was quite worried about her all day when I did not hear from her or could not reach her. I kept calling my uncle's apartment and getting the answering machine. I was emotional wreck, I kept breaking down to people at work, and to anyone who talked to me. On Tuesday I went to my mom's house and helped her notify everyone, and gave her support while she was trying to get in touch with my uncle's finance manager, a lawyer, the medical examiner, his friends at work, the funeral home etc etc. Things have been a mess, and the worst part was trying to figure out how to come up with the $7,000 for his funeral. I don't want to go into all of the details about financial stuff, but it all worked out becuase my mom has a good friend who lent her the money.

I came home yesterday, and it was my birthday. I spent most of the day scanning pictures of my Uncle, to make a slideshow of his life for his memorial service. He is being cremated and we are avoiding a traditional religious service - opting for a celebration of his life where his friends and loved ones in New York can gather and honor him. We will also be having a celebration of his life in Virginia at a later time.

Its hard to make people understand how much my Uncle Bob meant to me. He really helped and influenced me a lot in my life. In a lot of ways he was the strongest father figure in my life - more so than my real father. I want to write my next post telling his story. He was an amazing person and will be greatly missed by many.