O'keef "Do It!" Acid House Mix Tape

This mixtape was given out to the first 300 people that came through the door to a party at the Valley Forge Convention Center called "Do It" in 1995.

O'Keef - Do It


It's acid house, and was quite indicative to what kind of house music was hot at the time in Philly.



I went to this party, but I was not one of the first 300 through the door, therefore I didn't have the tape. It was a very cool party, though. I remember I was rolling and I kept hanging out near the DJ stage watching Adam X spin. I worked up the nerve to go up to him and hug him and thank him for all the awesome music he had inspired me with over the years. He was definitely the one DJ that inspired me to learn how to spin and make music. Today, he and I are friends.

The image above is a scan of the original flyer for the party.

This One's For Verabug

This was taken October 31, 1992. I was 18 years old, and dressed like a witch for Halloween. I was *very* seriously into my costume. The environment is kinda strange... it was taken by my father in his Chrome Plating workshop. There was certified cyanide in the vials on the shelf to the left. I'm not kidding! My dad was a self-taught mad chemist. He still does Chrome Plating to this very day.

On a side note, I was just starting to really get into techno for the first time around this era. I remember I was seriously digging Orbital, LFO and EON. This was a pretty cool time period in my life. Techno was just starting to hit it's stride and there was a very mysterious and exotic air to the very underground rave scene. I had not yet gone to a rave, just to a dance club in Rehoboth Beach called XLR8 that was *sort* of like a rave. I remember at this time I was seeing kids my age in overalls and rainbow sweaters and knitted hats, and I remember being very curious about them. I wasn't convinced that was the direction that I should go just yet, though. I still had a lot of external and internal moping to do. LOL.

My History with Panic Disorder - Part I

When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I remember being at my Grandfather's house with my mom and dad, playing either in the floor or outside, I can't remember which. We were there because my dad was cutting my Grandfather's grass for him. It was a very hot summer day , and since my Grandfather had a heart condition, he was unable to do it. I remember my dad coming in from outside, he was whimpering, gasping for air and holding his chest. He looked like he was dying. My mom started freaking out, and asked him what was wrong. He said he couldn't breathe, and that his heart was beating out of control. My mom took him to the emergency room. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with him. There was only a vague speculation that he might have had a heat stroke. My dad was only in his late twenties so there wasn't a whole lot of concern over the state of his health.

Some time passed and he had another similar attack, except he wasn't cutting the grass and it wasn't hot outside. These attacks started to become more frequent and since the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, my dad started to medicate himself with alcohol. This is when my dad's lifelong battle with alcoholism started. He would drink in order to deal with his anxiety and avoid panic attacks, but this set off a whole set of different and in a lot of ways more destructive problems, especially for me and my mother.

Things really got much worse when my dad went to our family doctor for his anxiety and panic attacks and the doctor gave him pills like Valium, Ativan, and Xanax to help him deal with it. These pills helped him at first, but then my dad would drink and take the pills at the same time, and would get really wasted. When he was boozing nd drugging it up with prescription pills, his self-control would reach an all time low, and all the anger and fear that was at the core of his psyche would come out and he would become violent and abusive, especially towards my mom. What's worse is that he wouldn't really be very conscious of this while it was happening, and the next day when he woke up he wouldn't remember too clearly what had happened. He became in a way like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. My mom and I were living with a two headed monster, a monster on which one head wasn't aware of the other's existence.

All of this continued on for many years, until it all ended in my parent's divorce when I was 20 years old. I'll spare you all of the horrid details that occurred over the years until my Mother finally was able to leave him. Let's just say that it was a very positive step for her, and I am very happy that she made that scary step to get away from that abusive relationship. What was a happy ending for me and my mom, wasn't such a happy ending for my Dad, however. In the end, his anxiety and panic disorder ruined his marriage, his family and in a way his life. Now he has a new wife and a new family, and I sincerely hope that things have gotten a lot better for him. I honestly don't know if he is still struggling with his panic and alcoholism to the degree that he was when he and my mom were together. He and I don't talk that much anymore. I needed some space from him and that part of my life. Maybe one day I will be able to start to have some sort of friendly relationship with him again.

For the past 14 years I have been dealing with my own case of Panic Disorder and Anxiety. They say that these conditions are "genetic" and I have always believed this to be true because "Hey, if the doctors say it is genetic, and my dad had it too, then that makes sense".

I have come to believe however, that it was not necessarily "Genetic" in the biological sense, although it was something that was passed on from my Dad to me. For the first time in my life I feel like I am taking huge steps in breaking the cycle and curing myself from this debilitating condition for once and for all.

Part II coming soon.......