Embarrassed

Ever sincre I posted that picture of me with a puffy face, I have been really embarrassed that anyone is seeing me like that. I am trying to focus on the fact that I do not look like that anymore, and have been slowly losing weight over the past few months.

To be honest, though, I have not been impressed with my metabolism since starting Synthroid, and sadly, after doing a lot of research - I am by far not the only woman who has been having trouble losing weight with it. I am crossing my fingers in hope that I will be one of the few women who are able to lose weight with it. We will see. Until then, I am continuing to strive to work out for 60 minutes five times a week and sticking to my strict anti-inflammatory diet. I have slowly been adopting to it and definitely feel better.

I purchased all of the supplements my doctor recommended and am now taking around 20 pills a day!

1. One Synthroid Tablet
2. Five Fish Oil Tablets
3. Five Ayurvedic Boswellian Tablets
4. Six Botanical Treasures Supplements
5. 3 Magnesium Stearate Tablets
6. One Multi-vitamin

That is 21 pills total!!!

I was just looking up one of my placements in my Natal Chart and was looking at Chiron in Aries in the Sixth house. Apparently, health issues is a big thing for me in this lifetime. I am also positioned to become a healer to others who suffer from the same issues as me. The only way I can make sense of this happening to me is to believe that it is for a reason, and that I am evolving to eat a very healthy diet. Really, I have no choice or I am going to just keep getting worse.

One of the most difficult things for me to deal with is the idea that I have gotten a disease which basically shuts down my metabolism. That is in a lot of ways my worst fear come true. I have always been obsessive about my weight and have stuggled with eating disorders for most of my life. The idea of living my life continually gaining weight with no way of losing it no matter how much I diet or exercise is uncomprehensible to me. To be honest I would rather not live at all of I were to have to live like that.

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So I Found Out What Is Causing My Health Problems

On Monday I decided to finally go to the hospital and get my blood test to see if I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. To my dismay, on Wednesday morning I got a call from the Endocrinologist to set up an appointment to talk to me about my results. I asked the receptionist if my thyroid anti-bodies were high and she said yes - although she did not have the authority to give me my diagnosis. I am pretty sure that it means that I have it. That really sucks, but at least I know now what the root cause of my:

• depression
• cold intolerance
• constipation
• leg cramps
• ten pounds that I cannot seem to lose
• bad memory
• poor concentration
• panic attacks

The bad news is that traditional medicine says that there is no cure for Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, and that I should take synthetic thyroid hormone replacement medicine the rest of my life. The good  news is that my landlord is an alternative medicine practitioner and she said that she has treated many people for this disease and all of them are doing well, without having to take the hormones. I am meeting with her this weekend, so she can evaluate what I need to do to start getting better.

This condition has been coming on for the last few years. I have known that there was something wrong with me, although I did not know what it was or what I needed to do to get better. At least now I feel like I finally know what is causing the problem, and that is half the battle. Even though it is daunting to face an illness for which there supposedly no cure, I believe that I will find a way somehow. It is probably going to involve a big change in my diet, and I am going to have to continue the exercise regimen I have been undertaking for the past month permanently, but that is okay. I just want to get better.

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